Niagara

First time either of us has left the country. The agent at the border asked the purpose of our visit and Ethan said "love," completely sincere, and then turned the color of a stop sign. She waved us through. I think she felt sorry for me.

You hear the falls before you see them. This low roar that gets into your chest. Then you come around the rail and there it is — all that water going over the edge and not stopping, not for anyone, ever. Cold mist coming up off the bottom. Ethan went quiet, which almost never happens anymore, and reached for my hand without looking.

I spent a long time being careful. Keeping the volume down. Keeping a wall up. Not wanting things where people could see me want them, because wanting things is how you get hurt. Standing there getting rained on by a waterfall in another country with his hand in mine, I honestly couldn't remember what I thought I'd been protecting.

He bought a tacky little snow globe in the gift shop. Said it's the first thing for "our shelf." We don't have a shelf.

We will now.

— J